


Drunk off one sip, just so I can adore you

by justhockey



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Drunk confessions, Drunk kiss, Episode: s03e18 Coda, Evan Buckley deserves the world, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Idiots in Love, Jealous Eddie Diaz, Jealousy, Love Confessions, M/M, Miscommunication, Misunderstandings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-13
Updated: 2020-05-13
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:33:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24155140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justhockey/pseuds/justhockey
Summary: Eddie is on his seventh (eighth?) beer when Buck starts making his way over to him. He’s all beautiful and smiley, and he’s the absolute last person Eddie wants to be around. Which is to say, Eddie wants to be around him always, wants to hide away in Buck’s warmth and love, and stay there forever.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 52
Kudos: 933





	Drunk off one sip, just so I can adore you

**Author's Note:**

> Title from _Adore_ by Dean Lewis.

Eddie is finishing tying Christopher’s shoe laces when the front door opens behind him. He doesn’t even have to turn around to see who it is, the elated grin that stretches across his sons face is evidence enough. 

“What’s up Diazes?” Buck says cheerfully. 

He’s wearing a light pink shirt and a cheeky grin, and Eddie’s heart does something uncomfortable in his chest. 

“Hey buddy, go play in your room for a little while, ok?” Eddie says to Christopher. 

The kid is clearly excited to head to May’s graduation party, mainly because he knows he’s having a sleepover at Denny’s afterwards, but he listens anyway. 

Once Christopher’s bedroom door is firmly closed, Eddie turns to face Buck. He’s frowning a little, clearly confused as to why they’re not leaving straight away, and he raises his eyebrow at Eddie. 

Eddie sits down on the couch and stares at Buck until he follows suit, sitting bedside Eddie and sighing in exasperation. 

“What did I do?” Buck asks. 

His voice and smile are teasing, but his eyes look worried and it kills Eddie, just a little. He doesn’t know much about Buck’s parents, just enough to know that they were pretty damn awful, but he hates them all the same. He knows other people have contributed to Buck’s insecurities too, himself included, but his parents were the start of it. Eddie’s glad they’re not in Buck’s life, because he doesn’t think he could ever pretend to like them. 

“The train wreck, Buck,” Eddie says, and Buck immediately tenses. 

It’s been two days since the crash, and they’ve slept since, but Eddie hasn’t seen Buck since they’d left the firehouse in the early hours, exhausted and weary. He hadn’t had the chance to talk to him about things that were too important to ignore, and they were past not being there for each other or communicating properly. So. 

“What about it?” Buck asks, hesitantly. 

Eddie knows what Buck is thinking, knows he’s expecting Eddie to bring up Abby, but. He just _can’t._ He can’t talk to Buck about her, and he knows that’s selfish, but he has to protect himself too, and Eddie thinks it might destroy him to hear Buck say he’s still in love with her. 

God, he’d done an _awful_ job staying professional that night, and he knows it. The second he realised who she was, Eddie couldn’t stand to be near her, couldn’t even look at her without feeling angry. And when he’d said her name - _’Abby, his fiancée is Abby’,_ \- it had tasted so bitter in his mouth and he’d spat it out like it was poison. 

So no, it wasn’t Abby he wanted to talk about.

“I need you listen to what I’m saying, okay?” He asks.

Buck frowns, and opens his mouth to speak. 

“No,” Eddie interrupts him, “are you going to listen?”

Buck closes his mouth and nods, shifting so he’s sitting more comfortably, like he’s expecting to be in for a long conversation. Good. Eddie needs him to listen, and he needs him to _hear._

“You need to stop being so careless with your life, Buck. I’m serious. I get it, ok? I get that you’re trying to do your job and you just want to help people, but we aren’t superhuman. There are limits to what we can do,” Eddie explains. 

“Ed-“

Buck tries to interrupt but Eddie isn’t having any of it. He holds his hand up to silence Buck, and to his utter surprise, he actually listens. 

“You could have died hanging outside that train, and you were willing to, and I am trying _so hard_ not to be mad at you for that,” Eddie says. 

His voice is thick with emotion, and so is his chest. Because he doesn’t know how many times he can watch Buck put his life on the line with absolutely no regard for himself, or the people who love him. One of these days it’s gonna kill Buck, and Eddie isn’t sure he can survive that. 

“I don’t want you to be mad at me,” Buck replies, and he sounds so young it makes Eddie’s heart ache. 

“I’m not - I’m not mad at _you_ , Buck, I’m just so frustrated that you keep doing this. I know you find it hard to believe that you have people who love you, but you _do,_ ” Eddie says, his voice cracking. “You have a _family_ Buck, and you can’t keep forcing us to watch while you get hurt.”

The atmosphere is heavy as Eddie falls quiet, and the room remains silent for a short while as Buck processes what’s been said. His hand is resting on his knee and he keeps clenching and unwinding it as he thinks. There’s nothing that Eddie wants to do more in that moment, than reach out and take it. He doesn’t. 

“I’m sorry, I don’t want to hurt anyone,” Buck says, his voice as fragile as glass. 

Eddie reaches up and squeezes Buck’s shoulder. 

“Then stop trying to kill yourself.”

Buck flinches at that, pulling out of Eddie’s grasp. 

“I’m _not,_ Eddie I swear, I _wouldn’t,_ ” Buck says, his eyes begging Eddie to believe him. 

“But it’s what’s gonna happen if you don’t start valuing your life,” Eddie explains. “Don’t make me tell Christopher he’s lost someone else he loves.”

Buck nods at that, and Eddie can literally see realisation wash over him. He looks shaken, and Eddie never wants to hurt Buck but if it’s a reality shock he needs to make him see sense, then Eddie is more than willing to give him one. He’ll do just about anything if it means keeping Buck safe from himself. 

“Okay, okay I’ll stop, I won’t be so reckless,” Buck promises, and Eddie can see that he means it. 

“Thank you,” Eddie says, and it feels like a weight has been lifted from his shoulders.

**——————**

Eddie has definitely had more drinks than he probably should have. His justification is that he doesn’t have Christopher tonight and Buck is driving him home, so really it’s fine. Chimney and Hen are also slightly intoxicated, but they’re all having a great time.

He looks over to where a sober Buck is being tackled to the floor by Christopher, Denny, and Harry, and Eddie’s heart swells in his chest. He feels sick with how much he wants him (though that could be the alcohol as well). 

He feels an unwelcome, toxic surge of anger, because _fuck_ , he loves Buck with every fragment of his already broken heart - he’d be willing to let Buck break it a thousand times more if it meant Eddie could feel even a hint of what it means to be loved by Evan Buckley. (It’s already staggering, breathtaking, earth shattering, as it is.)

But he’ll never get to have that. 

Because _she_ is back. She’s back, and she’s _engaged_ but he still loves her. Eddie isn’t the best at handling feelings, but he knows what it looks like when you’re in love, and the way Buck looked at Abby at the train wreck was the same way Eddie looks at Buck every single day. The way he’d looked when she mentioned her fiancé was, he’s sure, the same as how Eddie looked as he watched Buck’s heart break all over again. 

And he’s so _angry_ because for a moment, for a short while, he’d let himself think that _maybe_. You know, maybe Buck could feel the same way as Eddie, maybe they had a chance of being something more. Especially after Eddie was buried, after Buck had broken down in Bobby’s arms over the prospect of losing him. 

His Abuela had hugged him close afterwards, after he was out of hospital and the world had watched the earth collapse on top of him and Buck lose his mind. And she knew how Eddie felt about Buck, not that he’d ever told her, but just because he was so painfully obvious. And as she held him she whispered _‘ese hombre te ama con todo su corazón’_ into his ear. 

_That man loves you with all his heart._

He’d felt hope flicker in his stomach, something that he hadn’t felt in so long he almost didn’t recognise what it was. It felt like they were maybe moving towards something. But then she came back. 

God, he can’t even make himself _think_ her name, and he hates how childish he’s being, how selfish he is for not letting Buck talk about her. But he _can’t._ It would be embarrassing, how much it hurts, if Eddie wasn’t so far past caring what people think. 

And it does hurt, something real fucking bad, that he seems so much happier now. Eddie knows Buck met up with her yesterday, and it can’t be a coincidence that he’s so cheerful now, more himself than Eddie can remember seeing him in months. In fact, he almost feels guilty, because he hadn’t realised how reserved Buck had been recently, until today, the party. Seeing Buck be so, well, _Buck._ He hates that she’s the one to bring him back to himself when Eddie couldn’t. 

“You’re gonna give yourself a migraine, thinking that hard,” Karen teases.

She nudges Eddie’s shoulder as she comes to stand beside him, and he tries to smile at her but he’s pretty sure it just comes across as a scowl. She laughs, then follows Eddie’s line of sight, to where Buck is now lay on his stomach on the floor, playing some kind of board game with the kids. 

“You doing ok?” She asks. 

Eddie nods. “I’m great.”

He’s not slurring, he’s even not drunk, but he thinks it’s probably clear he’s had quite a few. He takes a sip from the beer in his hand anyway. 

“You might wanna tell your face that,” she says.

“It’s just, it’s not fair, is it,” Eddie says. 

He gets like this when he’s had a drink, emotional, in touch with his feelings. He always says more than he wants to, and he always ends up regretting something, which is why he doesn’t do it very often. But right now he really needs it, so he takes another drink and ignores the concerned look Karen gives him. 

“What isn’t fair?” She asks patiently. 

He points towards Buck with his beer. 

“Abby is back,” he tells her, as if that explains everything. 

She nods in understanding, “Yeah, Hen mentioned.”

“And he’s still in love with her.”

He knows he sounds bitter, angry, when he says it, but he can’t help it. That’s how he feels, and he struggles hiding his feelings about Buck at the best of times, so he has no chance when he’s heading towards drunk. 

“You think so?”

Karen has the patience of a saint. She’s not rushing him or teasing him, she’s asking like she genuinely wants to know. And it’s nice, because no one else seems to be concerned that the woman who broke Buck into pieces is trying to worm her way back into his life. He needs someone else to notice. 

“You should have seen the way he looked her,” he explained. 

Karen shrugs and bumps her shoulder into Eddie’s again. “Maybe he was just shocked?”

Eddie shakes his head, then finishes his beer in one more gulp. That’s four now, maybe five. And a glass of wine earlier. He turns to the table behind him, where all the drinks and snacks are spread out, and he takes another bottle, opening it on the edge of the table because he can’t find the bottle opener. 

“Why are you so mad about it?” 

Eddie knows if he tells Karen, then she tells Hen, and Hen tells Chim, who tells Maddie, who tells Buck. And that’s about the worst possible outcome. Because if Buck knows, then maybe he won’t want to be around Eddie anymore, and then, by default, he wouldn’t see Christopher either. Eddie doesn’t want to ruin his mismatched, perfect family. 

He just shrugs. “He deserves better.”

Chimney and Maddie rush off not long after, and then Eddie is saying goodbye to Christopher as Karen takes him, Denny, and a drunk Hen home. The crowd of people is slowly starting to thin out, and Eddie knows he should go home soon but he’s not sure what’s going to happen when he stands up. He’s not being an idiot or making a fool out of himself yet, but he might if he stands up and immediately trips over. 

Eddie is on his seventh (eighth?) beer when Buck starts making his way over to him. He’s all beautiful and smiley and he’s the absolute last person Eddie wants to be around. Which is to say, Eddie wants to be around him always, wants to hide away in Buck’s warmth and love, and stay there forever. 

“Hey buddy,” Buck says.

He’s talking soft, like he sometimes does to Christopher, and he takes a seat beside Eddie. Eddie is tired and drunk and doesn’t want to open his mouth in case a thousand secrets come spilling out. 

“I think we should get you home,” he suggests. 

Eddie frowns at him and Buck just chuckles. He stands up and moves in front of Eddie, holding his hands out for Eddie to take so he can pull him up. Eddie opens his mouth to protest but Buck just rolls his eyes, taking hold of Eddie’s hands anyway, and tugging until he’s standing in a somewhat upright position. 

Eddie thinks he stops breathing when Buck carefully slides his arm around his waist so Eddie can lean his weight onto him. Anyone else would probably stagger under Eddie’s weight, but Buck just walks as if Eddie isn’t there at all. Eddie very quickly thinks about literally _anything else,_ because that was something he didn’t need to know, and now he does, it’s making him feel _things._

“Thanks for a great night,” Buck says to Athena, “but I should probably be getting this one home.”

Athena gives them a look that sober Eddie couldn’t decipher, so drunk Eddie has absolutely no chance. Instead he smiles and waves. 

“Thank you Athena,” he says, and okay maybe he’s slurring a little now. 

A half smile makes its way to her lips even as she rolls her eyes, so he knows she not mad, which is good, because making Athena mad would probably feel a lot like making his mom mad. He’ll have to ask Buck some time, he knows he’s always frustrating her. 

“Here,” Bobby’s voice says from behind them. He hands a bottle of water to Buck then nods at Eddie, “he’ll probably need that before you get home.”

Buck’s laughs and agrees, “Yeah. Thanks guys, it was a great night.”

“Let me know when you’re home,” Bobby says, and Buck nods in acknowledgement.

“Thank you,” Eddie says again, just as the door is closing behind them. 

The air outside isn’t cold, but it’s enough of a shock to the system that Eddie instantly feels a little closer to sober. He thinks about pulling away from Buck’s embrace, he could probably stand on his own, but he doesn’t. If this is the only way Buck will ever hold him, Eddie will selfishly take advantage of it. 

He even lets Buck help him into the jeep and buckle his seatbelt for him. He feels guilty, and heartbroken, and drunk, and he doesn’t even refuse when Buck cracks the seal on the bottle of water and thrusts it into his hands with firm instructions to _‘drink it all’_. 

The ride back home - he wonders when he started thinking of it as Buck’s home, too - is quiet. They don’t talk, just listen to the music playing quietly through the radio. Eddie feels tears prickling in his eyes, because it’s peaceful and easy, god, it’s always _easy_ with Buck, like they’re just meant to be in each other’s lives. And he feels guilty for wanting more because Buck already gives him and Christopher his time and affection and love, it’s not fair that Eddie wants more. 

Buck unlocks Eddie’s door with his key - and Eddie is definitely drunk because the fact that Buck has a key to his house makes him want to cry again. He needs to sleep because he hates feeling so much, hates that he can’t control his emotions and push them down when he isn’t sober. 

Thankfully, Buck immediately guides Eddie through the house and into his bedroom. He sighs in relief at the sight of his own bed, and Buck chuckles softly. They’re pressed so close together that Eddie can feels Buck’s breath on his face and his heart is squeezing almost painfully. He bites at his bottom lip to stop himself from opening his mouth and saying something stupid like _I love you._

Buck is gentle as he sits him down on the bed, and Eddie’s bottom lip starts to tremble when Buck crouches down in front of him and begins to untie his shoelaces. 

“You deserve better,” Eddie says. 

His croaky voice breaks the relaxed silence that had been hanging between them, and Buck looks up at him from where he’s crouching between Eddie’s legs. He would probably be thinking something filthy if his heart wasn’t so soft and Buck wasn’t looking at him like he was about to break. 

“What are you talking about, bud?” He asks as he pulls Eddie’s right shoe off.

“She left and she broke your heart and you deserve better,” Eddie says. 

And he’s crying a little, now. Because Buck is so _good,_ he has the kindest heart of anyone Eddie has ever known, and he’s selfless and thoughtful, and deserves so much more than everything this life has thrown at him so far. He just wants to make it all better. 

Buck looks back up at him and smiles so softly that more tears slip from Eddie’s eyes. 

“I’m okay, Ed,” he says as he tugs off the left shoe. 

Eddie just shakes his head as Buck stands up and sits down next to him. He lets their shoulders brush together and Eddie can’t resist the urge to rest his head on Buck’s. Buck, because he’s the best person in the world, just lets him, even letting his own head rest on top of Eddie’s. 

“She’ll break your heart again,” Eddie whispers. 

He feels Buck shudder beneath him, like he’s either laughing or crying. Eddie doesn’t want to find out which.

“She can’t break my heart again, buddy,” Buck says, and he’s even more patient than Karen was. 

Except she will. She _will_ and it’s not fair because Buck doesn’t deserve to ever be hurt by anyone. 

“I’d never break your heart,” Eddie murmurs. 

He didn’t really mean to say it but he’s sleepy and too drunk to care. He doesn’t even notice the way Buck’s entire body goes tense. He does feel when Buck moves his head though, so Eddie moves his as well. They’re too close as they look into each other’s eyes, and it’s a bad bad _bad_ idea, but Eddie kisses him anyway. 

He leans forward and presses their lips together. It tastes like beer and peppermint gum, and it’s perfect until Buck pulls away, recoiling almost instantly. He jumps up and walks towards the door, putting space between them as quickly as possible. 

Eddie feels the world start to crumble. 

“Sorry, ‘m sorry,” he mumbles. 

Eddie rubs furiously at his eyes to stop the tears from falling, because they feel embarrassing now. Everything feels embarrassing, and Eddie never blushes but his cheeks feel like they’ve been kissed by flames. Buck won’t even look at him. 

“You should sleep it off,” Buck says, already half way out the door. “Goodnight, Eddie.”

He waits until he hears the click of the front door as Buck leaves, then Eddie lies down and falls asleep, heartbreak weighing heavy on his soul.

**——————**

Eddie feels sick when he wakes up the next morning, and he has a pain in his chest that has nothing to do with the hangover.

He feels sick the morning after that, too, when he still hasn’t heard from Buck since he left. 

But Christopher leaves for summer camp in less than two hours, so Eddie rolls out of bed and into the shower. He gets himself and breakfast ready first, and then wakes Christopher up once everything else is done. It’s easier to shower, get ready, cook, and tidy up, when an excitable eight year old isn’t wandering around the house and talking his ear off. 

“Good morning buddy,” Eddie says, peeping his head through the door. 

Christopher smiles sleepily at first, and then, when he realises what day it is, he sits up and cheers. 

“Summer camp!” 

Eddie can’t help but laugh at the sheer excitement on his sons face. He’s spent his life since he got back from Afghanistan fighting to make Christopher as happy as he possibly could. Letting him leave for two weeks, go to a camp where most - if not all - of the kids are able-bodied, is scary. There will be things that the other children can do that Christopher can’t, and Eddie just has to hope that he’s given Christopher the tools he needs in order to deal with that. 

Time flies by way too fast for Eddie’s comfort, and before he knows it, it’s almost ten thirty and they’re pulling up outside Christopher’s school. The coach is picking the kids up from there, and they’re meeting Hen, Karen, and Denny before it leaves, because Denny is going as well. That’s a little bit of relief for Eddie, that Christopher knows at least one person. 

“Hey guys,” he says as he approaches them. 

Hen and Karen both hug him, Karen squeezing him a little tighter. 

“Dad,” Christopher says, tugging at Eddie’s t-shirt. 

“Yeah buddy?”

“Is Bucky gonna come say goodbye?”

Eddie’s shoulders stiffen and he has to actively force down the blush he feels rising. He glances over to Hen, but she’s too busy fussing over Denny to notice. Karen gives a smile that’s far too knowing, but Eddie figures he was pretty obvious the other night, so. It’s what he deserves, really. 

He doesn’t know what to say to Christopher though, doesn’t know how to explain that Buck won’t be coming because Eddie fucked up and ruined the best thing that’s happened to either of them. 

“I don’t think he’s gonna be able to make it, Chris,” he says. “ _But_ I know he’s gonna miss you like crazy,” Eddie adds as he sees Christopher’s face fall. 

A totally unsubtle cough from Karen makes him look up through. She is nodding to somewhere behind Eddie, and Hen is already smiling in that direction. When he turns around, his heart almost drops to his feet. Because Buck is standing there, grinning with his arms stretched wide, waiting for a hug from Christopher. 

“Now, I _know_ you weren’t about to leave without saying goodbye,” he says. 

Christopher turns around so fast Eddie is surprised the kid doesn’t get whiplash. He calls out Buck’s name and rushes towards him, crashing into his legs and gigging as Buck wraps his arms around him and lifts him off the ground. 

“Dad said you couldn’t make it,” Christopher says. 

Buck’s eyes flash to Eddie’s for a split second, but he looks away so quickly he has Eddie questioning whether it even happened at all. 

“I wouldn’t miss this for the world.”

The goodbyes happen quickly. Buck loads Christopher and Denny’s bags onto the coach as Eddie, Hen, and Karen say goodbye to the kids. Then Buck gives them both one last hug, and they’re waving them off. Karen and Hen are pretending not to cry, Eddie is using just about every ounce of willpower to stop the tears from falling, and Buck is openly wiping away the tears. 

When the coach is finally out of sight and their kids are gone for the next two weeks, Hen and Karen say their goodbyes and head back to their car to drive home. Eddie and Buck stand there in awkward silence, and Eddie can’t help but think about how the last time it was this awkward between them was post-lawsuit. 

“Thank you,” Eddie says, trying to ease some of the tension. 

Buck nods, “I’d never let him down.”

And Eddie knows that, really. He should have definitely known that Buck would show up for Christopher, even though he was mad at Eddie. 

“Buck can we-“

“Listen I better-“

They both start and then stop talking at the exact same time. 

“Go ahead,” Buck says, clearing his throat awkwardly. 

“Can we talk? Please?” 

Eddie knows it sounds a lot like begging, but he’s past caring. He _is_ desperate, and he doesn’t mind if Buck knows it. 

Buck nods jerkily. 

“You wanna follow me back?” Eddie suggest, and Buck nods again. 

Which is how they find themselves sitting in Eddie’s kitchen, the house weirdly quiet without Christopher, or the tv, or some kind of noise in the background. He honestly hadn’t expected Buck to even agree to talk, so he hadn’t really planned any further ahead. 

“Thanks for coming,” Eddie says, but he feels like an idiot the second the words leave his mouth. 

Even Buck raises his eyebrows at him, and doesn’t dignify Eddie’s stupidity with a response. 

“You wanted to talk?” Buck prompts. 

And Eddie does. He’s gone less than forty eight hours with speaking to Buck but he still feels like he’s going crazy with missing him. The only problem is, he doesn’t know what to say. He doesn’t know how he can even begin to apologise for the things he said and did. 

“I’m sorry,” Eddie says.

It falls so far short of all the things he needs to express, but it’s the best he can up with at such short notice. Buck clearly agrees, because he shakes his head. 

“Yeah,” is all he says in reply. 

“I really am,” Eddie presses, his voice sounding shaky and way younger than it has any right to. 

Buck had been leaning on his forearms on the counter, but he stands up now, instead pressing his hands onto the cold granite. He looks Eddie straight in the eyes and he can’t breathe. 

“It wasn’t fair,” he says. 

And Eddie isn’t entirely sure what he means about ‘fair’, but he figures it’s not up to him to decide how his actions made Buck feel, so he nods. 

“I’m sorry,” he repeats. 

“You don’t get to use my feelings against me like that.”

That’s not what Eddie had been trying to do, like, at all. He’s not sure how Buck came to that conclusion, so he frowns a little. But he nods again, still. Because if that’s how Buck feels, then it’s valid. 

“I didn’t mean to,” Eddie tells him honestly. 

“How long have you known?” Buck asks. 

And now Eddie is thoroughly confused, because he has no idea what in the entire _fuck_ Buck is talking about.

“I mean, I saw the way you looked at her?” 

Eddie guesses, because the only thing Buck could possibly be talking about is his feelings for Abby. Except Buck frowns, his expression twisting like he’s confused now, too. 

“Wait, what are you talking about?” Buck asks. 

“Uh, you being in love with Abby?”

Buck scoffs, “What? I’m not in love with Abby?”

And that is _definitely_ news to Eddie. He’d been so convinced, absolutely _certain_ that Buck was still in love with her after the way he’d looked at her, after how happy he’d seemed once they’d met up. But if Buck isn’t in love with Abby, then Eddie really has absolutely no idea what conversation they’re even having right now. 

“Wait, so what are you talking about then? ‘Using your feelings against you’?” Eddie asks. 

His brain feels like it’s got whiplash with all this back and forth.

“You know how I feel about you,” Buck says, and his voice is closed off and harsh. 

Eddie flinches and his heart stutters in his chest. 

“What?”

Buck’s fists clench at that, and Eddie wants to stop saying the wrong things but he genuinely doesn’t know what’s going on. He doesn’t know what the wrong things _are._

“You kissed me, thinking you could just have a drunk hook up with me because of how I feel about you. That’s not fair, Eddie. I’m not that person anymore.”

Buck sounds genuinely hurt, but Eddie is struggling to focus on anything except _how I feel about you how I feel about you how I feel about you_. It’s replaying in his mind, and now his heart is beating too fast in his chest, and he knows he needs to say something because Buck is hurting and he needs to fix it, but he’s not sure his mouth can remember how to work. 

“I kissed you because I’m in _love_ with you,” Eddie manages to choke out, still in complete shock. 

He can’t even describe the look on Buck’s face. He’s frowning, and his hands are shaking, but his eyes have started to fill with unshed tears and fuck, Eddie just wants to kiss him again. 

“What?” Buck asks, and his voice is barely even a whisper. 

“I’m in love with you?” Eddie repeats, and it sounds like a question because he’s unsure of just about everything right now. 

“I - what - you are?”

Buck looks hopeful as he moves around the counter to stand directly in front of Eddie, with nothing between them. His arms raise, like he’s about to reach for Eddie, but then they fall back down by his side. Eddie hates the uncertain look on his face, like Buck can’t believe Eddie really just said that, as if Eddie ever stood a chance against Buck’s charms. 

“ _Of course,_ ” Eddie sighs. 

“Oh.”

It’s still for a second, and then. 

“I’m in love with you too,” Buck continues. 

Eddie definitely can’t breathe now, or maybe he’s breathing too fast. He’s not entirely sure, because his ears are ringing with Buck’s words, and all he can focus on is Buck’s shy smile, and the way he can’t force himself to meet Eddie’s eyes. 

“Oh,” Eddie says. 

But then he’s reaching out for Buck, closing the distance as he tilts Buck’s chin up and kisses him. 

The kiss tastes like peppermint gum again, but it’s a million times better than the first time. Especially when Buck’s arms find their way around Eddie’s waist and he pulls him flush against his chest. 

“Evan,” Eddie murmurs against his lips. 

“Te quiero.”

**——————**

Two weeks later they’re back at the school, waiting for Christopher’s coach to arrive with their hands tangled together. 

**Author's Note:**

> The finale made me so soft I’m so excited for the next seasons :(


End file.
